Do you fear networking because you don’t know what should come out of your mouth when you first meet someone?

It’s one thing to network with other scientists and go right into scientific discourse. It’s another when you’re aiming for a career transition and suddenly find yourself in a non-scientific crowd.

We become nervous when we start feeling self conscious about ourselves.

“Do I look ok? Is there spinach between my teeth? Can people see my pimple?”

Before you gulp down three shots of vodka to calm your nerves, there’s an easier way to loosen up without becoming inebriated: focus on the other person first.

When I say “focus on the other person”, I mean an interest in understanding someone beyond the superficial level. Asking a question like, “What brings you here?” does not show you’re focused on the other person, and you’ll get an answer like, “I’m here to network” (or a variant thereof). Then the conversation goes dead and you head off to gulp down those vodka shots.

Networking events usually feature a speaker section or an information session. Some questions that can help you understand the other person may include,

“What did you find most interesting in that talk?” or

“What did you think of {a specific point raised during the session}?”

Engage the other person’s mind and perspective, and ask her what she thinks about a specific issue or idea. You’ll get more interesting conversation and better mileage out of a network. You’ll also enjoy yourself more.